Now I must dive deeper. I’m a reader. I’m also lucky enough to be able to learn from books. So, whenever I’m attempting something, I go find a book. Yes, even rollerblading. I bought a book. Two.

So when I say that I ignored my a calling to write, I do not mean to imply I didn’t write. My house is strewn with writings. Attempts. Stabs. Call them what you will. Accompanying all that were the visits to the writer’s reference aisle over the years. I would stand there, eyes roving back and forth, wending their way down the shelves, thinking about writing. Thinking about the story. Thinking about it being published. So I bought “The Writer’s Digest” and the best of the killer query letter books that abound in this section. Year, after year, after year.

When you’re not a Writer, as evidenced by a lack of cohesive work on a project, you focus on “The Book Deal”, ignoring the whole “Book Creation” aspect. I have honestly delayed my writing with thoughts that a book tour at that time would be too inconvienent. If that is not a break with reality, I don’t know what would qualify.

So when my mind began to churn with the power of change, I found myself, once again after a long while, in front of the writer’s reference aisle. Habit threw my glance to the “The Writer’s Digest” and hooked my gaze on the endless collection of landing agents like fish from the sea. Then, unbidden or labored for came a nudge: “you haven’t written it yet”. My eyes backtracked, I started reading the titles of all the other books that are there. I bought seven books. One on actual writing. One about writing. One on writer’s block. One on time management for writers. Two on the art of being a writer and what that entailed. Then last; a book on where you write. Not a single book on publication. Without clarity and only in hindsight, I had crossed a barrier in myself from meaningless dreams to creating my own reality.

If you are the type to use the written word as a guide, can you see where you are by how you look at the writer’s reference aisle? Is it carrying you forward or holding you back?